Home - away
from Home.
Is anyone of
you the first generation immigrants here in US…
I am one of the first generation
immigrants here in US… I am NOT
going to talk our latest immigration policy here…. Just
want to let you know neither of my parent nor in laws are from US. This was not an overnight decision
or forced situation on me or my
family.
It was a dream come true of a teenager in India Chennai /Madras. Coming from a very conservative / old school
/ old fashioned family, not allowed to go to
school/college with boys/men , had a dream during my college days to go
abroad and work. In my family
tree , to my knowledge I know only 2
women who stepped out of their
home to take
up job. Traditionally
all women from our
family were home makers. Not sure
of the ways and means to achieve my goal
/dream
, completed my master’s degree in
computer application. I studied in all
Women’s college both my grad an post grad 6 years …. Yes I know
it is NO Fun….. We go to college daily from home… no
Dorm or Hostel Life style…. Well it was good in one
way -
food and laundry was taken care, we had to study
and have fun only….Also With this degree I
know can make it but did NOT know
where to start.
After convincing my parents to great extent , they agreed for
me to go to work…. My
Mom was everything for me. As
going to work was a new experience
to me -
Just like kindergartner , I
narrate everyday office
experiences to my Mom.
If god ever gave me an opportunity to go back, I
wish to go back to those days…. After few yrs ,
one day I told my Mom about my dream to
go abroad , I want to
go to US….
Another Pandora box was opened…. You can get married and then do as
per your
husband’s wish. In conservative families - we always have arranged marriages. That is one of
the reason they do NOT send girls to coeducation colleges. Now
my Mom started to search a groom which will match me and my
horoscope and my aspirations… Since
I was in IT , to narrow down the search, she started looking for IT grooms
- But to my luck the horoscopes did NOT match…. none worked out….
So I said OK to
anyone , whose horoscope matches with
me…. Burying my
aspirations , sending my dreams
to drain….
I got married
to Guna , who was the 6th son in
the family… Remember we were in a
joint family – It is not that husband and wife living together - We need to
live with MIL, FIL , 6 brothers ,
co-sisters their kids… visiting SIL. Cooking in
my in laws place was always
cooking for a party everyday…. Around
20+ with 14 adults + kids
I was in IT , I keep seeing many of my colleagues going to US
/UK and returning back …. Our most
revered former president , late Dr Abdul
Kalam says that dream is NOT that you
see in sleep, Dream is something that
does NOT let you sleep. As an aspiring
young lady, the onsite trip was always
haunting me….Now it is the time.
Remember Guna is from a big
family and he is the most active
person in the family too…. Yes I need to bell my cat Guna now… Ladies here and
everywhere know , how to play
this strategy with their husbands…. And many men know
or realize how they fell a
prey to
some of the strategies played by their wives…. NO offense here…. Knowing that
all 5 co-sister were NOT working… Allowing me to go
to work was a BIG thing… One
fine day , after praying to all my
beloved God and Goddess ,I spoke to
my Hubby, that
just like my other friends, my
aspiration was to go to US
and work, … He immediately said, if that is your desire , let
us try it for 3 months
and come back… and he had a
reasons to say that , because he was taking
care of several business and also had his commitment to his
family.
Even for those 3 months of visit , we have to
get my MIL and FIL permission
to go
abroad…. My MIL is
a shrewd lady – she is a woman too… having raised a huge family categorically said
that , she does NOT have any road
blocks us travelling to US…
until we have a baby. So we quickly took care of that project….within a year ,Voila my
baby boy Hari was born….
Told my boss at
office , that I am prepared to go to US,
and all paper works were taken care including Processing of my son’s passport and visa , when he was
not even ready to
sit….
I was thrilled
getting ready to go
to US - onsite assignment, buying western outfits, warm clothing ….
It was the day for our take off from Chennai to
US…. The entire family was at the Airport to send us off..
You know my
family and his family
occupying most of the area in
the airport….
Need to let you
know 2 Points
My
husband was in a dependent visa , hence
he was NOT authorized to work
here. Being the most active professional
in his family , he took a role of stay
at home Dad initially, to
make my dream
come true… Appreciate all his
sincere love and affection… Yes
Lucky ME!
Good Luck came
to him
too…, he was the first person
to get his Work authorization on L2 Visa and started to work
within couple of years. We started our journey for a 3 months period
and being here for 18+ years and going strong along with our daughter Sree too...
Another
important point is my Mom - At the
airport , I was smiling away with
joy, thinking of my dream
becoming true. I still remember
my Mom in her purple Sari stone faced. looking into
my eyes without absolutely no
words from her mouth… I can
see both the extreme of expressing her sadness
of missing me and stoked of seeing my
dreams come true…It was a mixed emotions for her….But Mom was so brave ,
that with such a
heavy heart - I did
NOT see a drop of
tear.
I continue to
pray god, to
give me the same courage like my
Mom to smile always , whatever difficulties , I may come across.
Finally have my home
here in US…. Yes Home is not a place…it’s a feeling but there’s no place like HOME.
