All about routines

I want to share 2 of the routine, which is essential but I delayed them. Not sure whether it is the immigrant feeling that I delayed it. But they say ‘Better late than never’ Overcame the fear and accomplished them.

I was pampered and spoilt not only by my parents but also by my loving husband.  Yes, you will be surprisingly shocked if I share the details.

1. Driving a car in the US

2. Travelling officially

Most of you would have started driving at the age of 18 or even less - which would have been the first step towards independence when you were a teenager. Very happy for you. I took my son to the DMV office on his 18th birthday. But I started to drive when I was almost 36+, more than double the legal age. Pathetic.

While in India, had drivers for our cars. When I went to work in India, I was chauffeured whenever I had to commute. Never had the intention of learning to drive on my own. Luckily my husband knew driving when we came to the US. Yes, and the comfort continued, husband did all the driving in the initial years here… I learned driving only after 4 yrs in the US. Learned it in a do-or-die situation. Yes, until life pushes you, some of these skills, we do not venture, even though it is a mandatory skill. But once on the wheels, it did not stop….

When we had only 1 car, I had to drop my husband at the train station when he worked in Philadelphia. Had to drop my son at school and then I go to work. Evening picks them up in reverse order. 2 hours of driving every day… All these were on the local roads only. 

One more hurdle to cross… Had the fear of driving on highways/freeway, as the speed was more. As it is a life and death matter, my husband also did not encourage me and helped me with freeway driving, whenever needed… Although I worked from home, if I had to travel to my Teaneck office - less than 100 miles from home, it would be a picnic taking the entire family.  😂

I wanted to do the freeway driving for 2 reasons

1. Wanted to do it before my son does it.
2. If my son goes to college and my husband who is a mortgage officer, is busy at work on weekends too, refuses to take me to meet my boy, what will I do

 These thoughts came up…The fear of the highway was overcome by my mother’s love. I wanted to learn freeway driving at any cost.

So had another driving lesson for Freeway only - went to Atlantic City twice. But still deep down the fear was there. After a couple of weeks, 2 of our family friends helped me. Went to Longwood Garden with Sudhakar and family. With vested interest volunteered to drive both ways with Sudhakar on the side. He is very calm, less complaining. The drive was OK, but at one junction, I had to cross four-lane in less than 3 minutes. I was sweating, but he was so cool, made me feel the same, and overcame the fear. Also, another family friend Kamal helped me… He too was very encouraging - we went up to Bordertown and came home.  

Let me talk about my maiden freeway drive… you must be thinking I went to some temple… I don’t remember the date but I drove to my Cognizant headquarters office Teaneck, not for any meeting. Just a drive on Saturday morning. Yes, had the adrenaline rush very frequently, but it was more at the George Washington bridge. Parked my car at the office parking lot had a couple of tangerines and quenched my thirst and got ready for the trip downwards. Thanking both Sudhakar and Kamal as I was taking the exit ramp on NJ 295 South.

Driving itself was delayed for a long time, traveling alone was overdue.  

Although in the US for the past 15+ years and working in IT, people think I do travel very frequently. Even though my work did not ask for it, I was also not comfortable traveling on my own. Mainly because of coming from an old-fashioned conservative family.  

I overcame this fear in 2017 December. It was just an annual meeting at the same Teaneck office. But as the weather was icy, we had the flexibility for an overnight stay. So booked a hotel room at Marriott near the office. Packed my stuff needed meticulously. Even when I was about to leave, my affectionate husband, offered to drop me off at the hotel and pick me up the next day at my Cognizant office. Yes, they are bent on spoiling us with their coddle. Yes, this overprotection only loots us from our independence. I was quite inflexible and wanted to drive and stay all by myself and drive back the next day. Pls, give us a break….

Finally, bid goodbye to the family and started to drive. Did not want to stop anywhere for dinner too. Decided to buy my dinner here in Voorhees. Drove for less than 2 hours and reached my destination. Slight snow was there… Checked in, reported home, and then had my dinner Chipotle bowl.  

As I was tired fell asleep but got up early. It had snowed heavily. So wanted to clean up the car before getting dressed. Had my breakfast, cleaned the car and checked out the hotel, and went to the meeting well before the scheduled time. It was a successful one not only at the meeting but also being on my own. Had the opportunity to repeat more travel by taking the flight to Dallas and Tampa being on my own, away from family, for more than 3 or 4 days too. Just waiting for life to return back to normal, post covid so I can explore more. 

 Although it might sound trivial, it is a great feeling of happiness and satisfaction, when we achieve these. Also thrilled, to set a good example for my daughter by breaking the barriers.  😎

 Let me end this with a quote -  'A Ship in the harbor is safe, but  that's not what ships are built for'